I have survived college apps; it's a miracle!
It’s been a long, grueling past three months of writing college & scholarship essays, balancing school and work, freelancing, and binge-watching Bridgerton, Queen’s Gambit, Designated Survivor, and New Girl, among other Netflix shows.
But, I’ve survived and I’m here, ready to go at this whole blogging thing, yet again. One of the biggest issues I’ve had with my writing is staying committed; I write, I burn out, I give up, and then, for honestly no reason at all but because I want to, I come back. I’m going to blame this time on college apps and hope this round goes a lot better. Here’s to weekly updates on my *exciting* life, more cringey life lessons, & all the fun stuff.
Anyways, a lot of things have changed since the last time I’ve written here. For instance, I found this song that everyone should listen to because I’m obsessed with the beat. :)
I get so philosophical whenever I listen to it lol
More importantly, I’ve gotten SUPER burnt out. It took me at least 5 sessions of sitting down to write this Substack post itself (with an added 30 phone pickups). I can barely send out freelance pitches, much less focus on school work or Plannr stuff. I actually wrote most of this in NOVEMBER, when I thought I was finally good to write, but here I am in FEBRUARY :D I’m just so done.
Once I hit submit on that last application, I felt so much relief and doing anything other than watching Netflix in bed feels so out of reach.
As a mental health advocate, I preach to others about “letting yourself feel it” and how “letting go takes time,” but I’ve found it even more hard to actually do. It’s funny it often happens like that, where we give someone our best advice, but we don’t take it ourselves. It’s toxic.
But, I don’t have time to sit in my feelings and just watch TV for a week. Life keeps passing me by and it’s already February. I graduate in less than 100 days.
100 days to make high school count and I’m sitting here on a bed at home not having seen a single person I’m friends with outside of my immediate family in real life for months.
We’re all in the same boat, though. I shouldn’t feel this way, right?
Just because everyone else is in a faintly similar situation doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel things. I learned not to not invalidate my feelings just because someone else is feeling them over the past few months. My feelings matter just as much as my neighbors and my friends, and I shouldn’t be putting them on the back burner just to please them. I’m not saying to stop comforting them and go around parading how much stress I’ve been dealing with and start comparing, but I also shouldn’t stop myself from feeling things to adjust to another’s situation.
I’m done wasting time– my 100 days.
I’m going to let myself feel it. And if it takes me 10 sessions to write one fricking blog post, so be it.
I don’t want to just have survived college apps. I want to live.
Thanks for reading my cringey stream of consciousness rants!
Here’s my latest articles! (aka articles I’ve published since my last letter lol)
HINDU GAY WEDDING– COVID EDITION - Urban Asian
8 GEN-Z GROUPS FIGHTING FOR A SUSTAINABLE FUTURE - Sustain the Mag
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