I'm scared to put my writing out there.
I feel like I'm giving up a part of my identity, even though it's still mine.
|Jul 21, 2020||3|
Putting my writing out there is already hard as it is. I’ve written two pieces anonymously on The Tempest so far because I’ve been too afraid that someone at school would find out. My other pieces do have my bylines, but each time I publish something, it’s a risk.
Honestly, writing, as a whole, is a big, fat risk.
I love writing, but the fear of being judged for my writing has bothered me for far too long. I understand people can have differing opinions on my writing; that’s normal. However, having opinions and judging a person based on what they write about are two very different things.
I want to be known for my writing, but I also don’t want to become my writing.
Does that make any sense at all? I feel crazy.
My writing does not cover the full depth of who I am or what I strive to be. Although my writing is a representation and a funnel of my deepest thoughts and emotions, I don’t want to become who I may look like on paper. That’s not my full self.
I’m scared to put my work on there because I don’t want misinterpretation. I don’t want people to believe I’m shallow because I wrote one piece on it. I don’t want people to think I’m a saint because I wrote about having good intentions.
I don’t want my friends to hate me, or think I’m weird, or judge me. And I feel like that’s the silliest reason in the world now because what’s the worst that could really happen?
Most of all, I’m putting a part of myself out there every time I write, like right now. I spill out bits and pieces of my identity, life stories, and lessons. They may not be the whole me, but they are still a part of me. And I’m terrified that someone will take it and morph it into something I’m not– collect pieces of me and put together a puzzle that is completely wrong.
But, I’ve learned over the years that I overthink too much, so I’m just going to chalk this letter up to that. Y’all, if you write, if you sing, or dance, or have any passion, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.
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